March 23, 2021

Skinny is overrated

I'm WillowjakMama!

My blog started as a way to document my journey to wellness, but turned into a place to be inspired by others through our collective messy & authentic stories. Now it's my favourite place to be.

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Skinny is overrated.

The media puts so much pressure on many young girls and women. You have to be skinny to be attractive. You have to lift itty bitty one, three or even five pound weights and do tons of cardio to be attractive.

“Don’t eat this or you’re gonna get fat!” “Don’t eat that or you’re gonna get fat!” These are the words that I would often hear from my mom or from my Portuguese grandparents. Coming from a Southern European family – mainly my mom’s side of the family, there was TONS of food and we ate a lot. We also valued our health, enjoyed the traditional Portuguese dishes and oh those yummy Portuguese Custard Tarts from the local Portuguese/Italian bakery. Those words however.. one cookie and I would be shamed for it. After gaining so much weight when I was 11 years old I was criticized for being “fat” and not being “skinny”.

The teenage phase, well midriff tops were the fad and low rise pants or shorts were popular.
“Pull your pants up!”
“Cover your stomach!”
“You have to be skinny to wear that or people are going to stare!”
“That’s not attractive and you can’t pull it off!”
Every girl was wearing them, but they didn’t seem to get shamed for it. While my mom was trying to protect me, the words did more harm than good.

Fast forward to being 29 & the beginning of a journey that changed my life. Gym days, it wasn’t just eating fully clean but it was burning everything I ate off. That was only the beginning and little did I realize that it was an unhealthy way of thinking. My goal was to be a size 4 or a size 3, if I was that then I would be more attractive. Remember this was BEFORE I hired my trainer.

Janurary of 2019, when I got my assessment by my trainer I prayed that I’d find out I was naturally skinny and would be deemed an hourglass build. I was always told that the hourglass build is the body to die for and men don’t find other body types attractive. When my email came back announcing that I am a MESOMORPH body type, I wasn’t happy. My trainer helped me to realize that everyone is built differently and that being a mesomorph has many perks.

(Read: What’s your body type?)

Keep fast forwarding to the training days, gym time and my healthy eating, I slowly came around to my mesomorph rectangle body type. Having the ability to have explosive movements, being a natural athlete, and being able to build lean muscle. Being able to be comfortable in my athletic body and what my body is capable of doing.

Slowly and surely, I began to embrace my mesomorph body & I also accepted that I am meant to fit into a pair of size 5 jeans and size 6 in lululemon gym pants. Not everyone is meant to fit into a size 00, 0,1, 2, 3 or even a four and a size doesn’t mean happy and it doesn’t mean that you got it all. Everyone’s built differently, the more I thought about that the more I changed my way of thinking. My fitness journey was about me not only reaching my goal wieght but being a mentally stronger person and being fit, healthy and happy.

I learned that “skinny” doesn’t mean healthy, think about the term “skinny fat” and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you will attract the people you want. Skinny doesn’t mean everything.

Fast forward to where I reached my goal and I felt great. Were there temptations to want to be skinny? – Yes, however I quickly got back on the horse and changed my thinking to being stronger. I found through my journey that shockingly most men were put off by skinny women and liked fit or average women. They preferred inner beauty. Being skinny doesn’t mean that you will attract every person that you want.

I love muscle more than anything, muscle is like money it’s easy to lose and hard to earn. I discovered a love for the lean muscular look and being able to have something to show for my hard work.

To this day I still train consistently, but I learned that I was meant to have my mesomorph body and to not take my athleticism for granted. I learned how to workout the way my body is meant for and I learned that just because I’m not the naturally slender ectomorph doesn’t make me any different.

Whether you are ectomorph, endormorph or a mesomorph doesn’t make anyone any better. Be the best version of you and that’s what matters. Set goals and be patient and consistent.

Lisa K.

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Hi, I'm Stacey.
Welcome to the
Willowjak Blog 

My blog started as a way to document my journey to wellness, but turned into a place to be inspired by others through our collective messy & authentic stories. We chat about themes that are often ignored and voices that aren't often given a chance at the mic. Now it's my favourite place to be. 

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